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ALMA DE RAÍCES VIVAS

ALMA DE RAÍCES VIVAS

En la penumbra de la celda, las sombras ayudadas por mis manos cobraban formas de pájaros que se desplazaban por aquella estancia buscando una rama donde posarse. Acurrucado en mi camastro jugaba con siluetas que imitaban la belleza del vuelo en conjunto de los estorninos, o simulaba figuras de aves que atravesaban el océano y sobrevolaban los acantilados para regresar a sus nidos. Caí en un sueño profundo mientras mis manos se relajaban y caían acariciando unas sábanas sucias. De repente, me encontré enraizado a una tierra inhóspita. Inmóvil, oteaba el horizonte. El viento del norte arrastraba aún los rescoldos de cenizas hacia el páramo donde me encontraba. Sus ráfagas expandían la memoria olvidada de una batalla que jamás aparecería en los mapas. A mi lado, una vieja alambrada de espino conservaba los oxidados muelles enmarañados y restos de escombros, convertida en testigo mudo de un tiempo pasado. Encima de mí se erigía una estructura de hierro como un vestigio metálico en estoica resistencia. Un cielo grisáceo comenzó a cerrarse para volverse cada vez más oscuro. El aire azotaba mi cuerpo al tiempo que los graznidos de un cuervo me alertaron de un despiadado ataque a picotazos contra el que fue imposible defenderme. Un dolor sordo y punzante me despertó de golpe. Abrí mis ojos y volví a la tenue oscuridad de la celda. El sudor había empapado la almohada tras aquella pesadilla mientras clavaba mi mirada en unas paredes lóbregas. Demasiados años en la cárcel aunque suficientes para haber aprendido a combatir el desconsuelo y volver a creer en la vida….

 

La vida que, en un alarde de indulgencia, me había concedido el privilegio de salir de aquella sucursal del infierno. Decidido a recuperar todas las horas, minutos y segundos dilapidados allí dentro, me propuse desertar de aquel mundo aparte que habíamos construido los que no queríamos rendirnos todavía. Habitantes de una isla ideológica del sinsentido que acabó por convertirnos en presos de otro régimen maldito de estrictas reglas que, en el fondo, nos imponían un castigo paralelo. Una mortificación lenta que devenía en una tortura más dañina que la sufrida cuando nos apresaron.

En la soledad de mi calabozo abjuraba en silencio de aquellas férreas normas y anhelos mesiánicos, hasta que un día decidí actuar por mí mismo. Harto de ser aquel hombre, me reinventé en un hombre nuevo para dejar todo atrás. Me negué a bajar otra vez a las catacumbas del odio y alimentar aquel credo junto a sus apóstoles. Con abnegación trataba de aceptar, quizás, que en el momento más inesperado llegaría un cruel escarmiento forzoso. Luché contra mí mismo y vencí al miedo. Me separé de ellos y al principio me aislé. Tomé mi tiempo antes de acercarme a otros presos, al grupo de los barbudos como así se les conocía. Aquellos presidiarios a los que siempre habíamos temido y respetado, se apiadaron hasta acogerme como uno más de los suyos.

Me transmitieron la savia de nuevos ideales que propiciaron en mí el cambio definitivo. Volvieron mis ganas de luchar por la justicia y la libertad. La diferencia es que ahora ya no enfrentaba enemigos a quienes disparar como había hecho antes. Mi compromiso ya era sin armas, solo conmigo mismo y mi realidad.

Con la paciencia de un monje logré mantener a raya la locura. Me mordía la lengua con lágrimas en los ojos ante los alaridos de algún compañero que proclamaba a voces su inocencia mientras maldecía su suerte. Sus lamentos desesperados se amplificaban por todo el edificio hasta invadir nuestras conciencias de tristeza y desazón. Al llegar la madrugada buscaba cualquier sonido al que aferrarme. Aguzaba los oídos para percibir voces prohibidas, murmullos de apetencias y susurros de pasiones veladas que también enardecían los ánimos en aquellos calabozos. Una manera de reavivar mi corazón en ruinas. Refugiado en mi celda imaginaba la selva, el desierto, el pan tierno e incluso la sangre con su rojo intenso pasando en secuencias fotográficas que estimulaban mi cerebro para no embotarme. Sin embargo, pensar en las nubes y sus formas era lo único que me hacía soñar de verdad.

Unas botas militares me despertaron dando una patada al jergón. Como si hubiese sentido un seísmo salté de la cama y sintiendo una náusea me levanté. Recogí una vieja camisa del rincón y me puse los pantalones. Me colocaron las esposas oxidadas como de costumbre para ir al baño. –Mañana ya podrás largarte, traidor… - me dijo aquel carcelero con una sonrisa burlona.

Recorrí el estrecho corredor controlado en todo momento por la mirada torva de los cancerberos. Las celdas se extendían a un lado y a otro de aquel largo pasillo que como en un espejismo se alargaba y se encogía al compás de los movimientos de una lombriz.

Comencé a marearme con aquella visión oscilante. Los fuertes olores se instalaban en la pituitaria una vez más, pero ese día se tornaron insoportables. Cabizbajo, traté de evitar las miradas insolentes que me dirigían algunos camaradas en mi último día de reclusión. Se despedían con un gesto impostor y flemático.

La puerta del calabozo se cerró con un chirrido metálico, me apoyé de espaldas contra la pared. Exhalé un profundo suspiro de alivio y me dejé caer hasta quedarme en cuclillas mientras los sollozos salían como un vómito descontrolado de mi garganta. Por fin, la última noche.

La esperanza retoña en el árbol seco del que nacerán nuevas ramas. Entendí que cada parte de mí es un milagro, que podía ver, tocar, oír como antes y que como un mago había hecho brotar todas aquellas sensaciones que ya casi había olvidado. La brisa del mar acariciaba mi rostro, a veces la luz cegaba mis ojos en los días claros, pero yo me afanaba en entreabrirlos para no perder ni un instante de cada atardecer. Las nubes nacaradas se desplazaban por el cielo lentamente, sin prisa.

 

 

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